mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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