omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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