dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
