He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
