I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
