wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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