Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
