trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
