Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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