Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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