In the future we'll all be gay
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
organizing the empties. That sober.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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