In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
