His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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