Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
