if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
