Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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