Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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