And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
