Can Purell be used as lube?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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