She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
