she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
