Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
