Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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