WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You can't just leave with hair like that
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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