plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That accounts for only three of the penises
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
