I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
