What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Semen is not good for contacts.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
