You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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