covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
