I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
