You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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