That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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