Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
