Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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