I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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