you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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