we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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