I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
bring money and cleavage
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
