my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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