Having a random hookup so left but love u
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
