No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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