It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
