Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
