My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
babies were throwing up all over the place
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
