This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
