rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
that's an acceptable place to lick
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
