its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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