Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
