Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
