just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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