Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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